2019 is coming to an end.
Here they are;
My big 5 that I need to work on!
1. There are things I do too much. This stems from being insecure I think.
2. I sometimes come off as an insensitive know it all in a moment of try to help someone.
3. I can be super pushy and don’t really consider what other people have to tell me.
4. Too many excuses.
5. I have a hard time seeing past my own problems and looking at the big picture around me.
So how have I done?
1. I have really tried to listen more and speak less. I think I have improved somewhat. I conciencously tell myself to back off, listen, let them finish. Sometimes I am pretty good. Sometimes I honestly suck. I commit to keep trying!
2. A year ago it was pointed out to me that I come off as a know it all. This is a hard one. I am a person that is opinionated. Big suprise??. I am a compulsive studier, I love learning and researching. When if find out great information I want to share it. What I have learned is that if I give people a chance in a conversation or in a class the thing I wanted to say usually comes up eventually. Then I can simply agree. The patience of this excersize is where I struggle. I mean I really struggle. Again sometimes I am great and sometimes I suck. I will keep trying.
3. This ties in with number 2 in someways. I really try to listen better. I have found out that my brain spins really fast with information and you know what, it is hard to listen when your thoughts are loud. I have to push my thoughts down and really focus, FOcus, FOCUS! It is hard but I am improving. So I will keep working on this one.
4. I have learned that in many cases, it really doesn’t matter what my reasoning is behind it. I am one of those people that REALLY wants you to know why I did something. But you know what it does not matter many times. In a way this has been an amazing and freeing realization. If I screw up I try to own it, learn from it and move on. Learning from the missteps is valuable, moving along little doggie is also important.
5. I have learned that there is a certain sanity in stepping back and viewing our problems from a far perspective. Hold your hand right in front of your nose, do you see it clearly? Now look at it at arms length. Do you see your entire hand? Yup that is how I now deal with pain or difficult problems, from arms length. It doesn’t seem so impossible with bit of perspective.
In conclusion this has been a really great year. I know who I can count on. I know who my real friends are. I know who I can live without. I know I can work through issues that affected me in the past. All in all I am so thankful for my blessings. I am thankful for my faith and my relationship with my Father in Heaven. I am thankful for my amazing partner and husband. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for tender mercies and for challenges that make me better.
Cheers to 2019 and to what lays in front of me next year.